How to conquer fear

  1. Acknowledge  fear

This is the first thing to do. Acknowledge that you are fearful especially to the ones that you fear. It is seen as a weakness but that’s when you gather strength to overcome fear.  Also acknowledge why you fear what you fear. Mostly people are afraid of loss – loss of respect, being embarrassed, being considered irrational and being considered a loser.

  • People judge accept it as it is.

People will judge you always, whether they know anything about you or don’t even know about you, whether they are right or wrong eventually they have to judge. Judging makes everyone human, makes everyone a thinker that’s why we judge. When you do good or bad, people are going to judge you. As Karl Moore once said, “People say what they don’t mean and mean what they don’t say. Stop being emotional about it”

  • Acknowledge being stupid.

This sounds stupid. Let me show you how it breaks fear. If you say to people that you are the most stupid person in the world no one will judge you about it later. Even if they say so, you re confirm that you told them so. This is the secret about this method. Everyone in the whole world is stupid even the wise men themselves. The difference is that people tend to hide their stupidity especially the wise ones.  No one wants to be seen as stupid and unreasonable. Confirming that you are one creates a different perspective. If someone calls me stupid today, I would say yes I am stupid. I am a better stupid human being because I know I am stupid than a stupid human being who does not know that he is stupid.

Most people who invented a lot of things in the world were considered stupid. Considering a man fly like a bird was being childish or stupid. But look how that stupid idea became. As rational human beings, when we are sober, we tend to categorize what to say and what not to say because some ideas will be stupid. You will only utter things out of your mouth that you believe or know they make sense.

A good example is when you see a person who is reasonable gets drunk. He may start being unreasonable because he is no longer controlling his behavior as much as he would when be is sober. I am not justifying the actions but when one is drunk, that shyness will be gone. The fear of looking stupid holds a lot of people back from unleashing the greatness they already are.

If I am stupid so what? If I am a loser so what?

  • Know yourself

Knowing who you are is power. Knowing who you are is wisdom, knowing others is intelligence. You should know who you are and for you to do that, start by defining yourself. Even Socrates, one of greatest philosophers in the world said “Know thyself” the more you know about who you are and acknowledge your strengths and your weaknesses.

  • Consider yourself dead

Have you ever reached a point where you don’t care about anything anymore? This usually happens when you have realized that there is no point to live anymore. It is usually bad but if used at the right time it can yield results to quit fear. When you really see no point to live, you become scared of nothing. Consider yourself dead. Fortunately, I am a human being who is driven by passion. I said to myself that I rather be dead expressing myself than dormant alive. Solve fear with attitude.

In conclusion

Accept vulnerability as fast as possible and be authentic about it. You are weak you are human that is how it is, we are humans we experiment. Creativity and mistakes have one thing in common, experimentation. An experiment is done to evaluate the validity of an assumption or a theory. Bulk of scientists made a tonne of mistakes for them to be sure of what the world is today and yet you are trying to be too perfect.  Work with what you can and leave what you cant?

The deal breaker

In this free generation and multi cultural environment, we are experiencing a great deal of ultimate freedom. This is a great opportunity for doing what want, whenever we want, however it seems solving another problem creates another problem. We are in a generation were it’s easier to give up because our ego is boosted by our freedom to chose whatever we want, when we want and dismiss anything whenever we want. That’s the reason we are in an age with few or no friends because we give up on building relationships because we have that right to freedom and privacy. As soon as someone throws a small vibe on you, you just decide to cut the relationship.  I call it a deal breaker. Personally I had some deal breakers, if someone crossed the line against my beliefs or personality even with an inch, I would cut them off yet l discovered later that the people who I had deal breakers would turn to be my best buddies. We sometimes miss the connection because we dismiss others too early. We always say don’t judge a book by its cover yet in reality we never learn from this as a lesson. We judge people before we even know them.

Basically long lasting relationships are built while compromising your ego and I am not saying that you let people disrespect you but give it time. It’s not long when you attend someone’s funeral and realize they had 4000 Facebook friends but you have less than 10 meaningful relationships. Sad but it’s a fact, social media connects ideas and perceptions but that pipeline never brought a real social connection. I doubt if a psychologist, sociologist or therapist would recommend social media. This is more common with teenagers now.

It’s not a surprise why people die in depression or suicide, because they have no deeper social connections to whom they can usher their frustrations and get help especially when you cannot afford to pay a therapist. A good time with family and friends can shift your mindset from doing yourself harm especially when you over think about life. Be there for someone like they would do for you.

How many people are you giving a deal breaker?  People whom you judge before you know them. People whom you thought where not good enough who turned up to be fine. Did you meet new people in a year and made real social connections. This even goes to intimate relationships where people give up more often.  Basically invest in relationships, they may or might not give you money but they might give your health. How many relationships did you give up at an early stage which could have been sound relationships?

Let’s not turn a hot cup of coffee into an ice cold beer. Don’t bring a deal breaker too early because all friends and colleagues you have now were once strangers.

What you were not taught in school

I have questions for Africa

  • What’s the point of living if you aren’t living your way?
  • We have been sent by our parents or guardians to school so that we learn and have a better future.

We learnt from primary school to high school and from high school to college or university. The theme was always the same “Go to school, work and make a better future” Life is not about getting a good job with a lot of money, it’s about enjoying the job that is in line with your talent. The world is full of standards and theories to follow, why not make my own theory. Let me get the best from my creativity and imagination.

What about those people who died without living their talent. They never got the chance to explore their dreams, talents and passions. We were taught to read and understand but we were never taught to follow our dreams. We were trained to work harder but we were never trained to work smarter.

We were trained to apply theories into practical but we were never trained to apply dreams into reality. We were taught to play it safe not follow your heart. Are we going to remain in theories set by others, or are we going to make our own?

If you are a parent motivate your child to look for his or her talent. You want the best for your children RIGHT!   Go ahead and do it. All continents except Africa had their theories to human existence, its time for Africa to create its own applicable to them. We thrive for excellence in profession, why not thrive for excellence in talent. It’s time we need an academy of talent where we search talent, nurture talent, support talent and broadcast it for the benefit of you and me.

Lets be wise and make our creativity the standard of life. Why are some people successful more than others? Is it not that they discovered their talent while others sat on the comfort of degree certificates on the wall. Some of the great Dj’s in the world have never set foot on the door of the music academy. But they are on the top of the world.

So I encourage all youths today who have a chance to utilize their energy. Follow your hearts, follow your passion, and follow your dreams. No one has to tell you… Life is too short, discover yourself, define yourself and find your own talent.

Imagine today you are on your deathbed and all your dreams and talent are crying and shouting within you

  • “you should have utilized us, you wasted our existence in you and you wasted your life”

I know what I need to focus on. “My talent, my desire, my creativity, my purpose, my life that’s it. I know they are people who say I don’t know what my talent is. Discover it, it’s never a one day thing, even Rome was not built in a day. That’s why I proposed an academy of talent where we treat it like a treasure. We dig to find it, we find its purpose and use and broadcast it for the benefit of humanity. I am not saying don’t go to school to learn, I went to school but remember your entire life is not based on what you learn at school, it’s what you create and you can only create the best through your talent. Today we are benefiting from technology built by great people before us but it doesn’t mean we should stop creating the life we crave for. I thank my parents who sent me to school, but most importantly I am very proud that I discovered myself. If anyone had not decided to live life, start doing so now? This is a new age

Torment

When you said you make it rain,

I thought it was happiness,

Yet your intention was to bring me pain.

Why give me an overdose of pain

Than putting a bullet  to my brain?

I thought I asked for forgiveness

And you accepted  an apology,

Yet you were on a revenge mission.

You got close to kill me softly

Now I am tormented emotionally.

Turning  lemons into lemonade

Was part of my romance.

I had a dream to dance with you

Now I am in your  ring wrestling.

We are backsliding 

From lemonade to lemons.

When will this torment end

For death feels better  than pain.

Love is hard

When you sacrifice all

And give someone your heart

And get broken in the process

You end up hating being in love.

The heart  wants what it wants

And you forgive those who betray you

For them to betray you once again

Until you no longer want to be wounded again.

Closed hearts are like mysteries

You will never know the best lovers

For the best lovers loved so hard

And ended up hiding their hearts like treasure in a cave.

Who shall  tell them to be brave?

You end up saving your wounded heart

Than feeding it to the unknown potential lo vers.

The feeling to express love  is given to us all

Yet not cherished by everyone.

Close to you

I don’t want to be close to you,

Not because I don’t want you.

I am afraid I will lost

In the meanders of your intense attraction.

I don’t want to be close to you,

Not because I don’t have feelings for you.

I am afraid of getting myself hurt

For I will lose my mind crashing into you.

I don’t want to be close to you

Not because  I don’t care about you

I am afraid I will give you overdose

And get ill from my love medicine.

I dont want to be close to you

Not because I dont trust you.

I am afraid you will not control me

When I am amplified into the love roller coaster

Goodbye Linda

I tried to be a good man
And you told me I will never be.
I tried to be good for you
And you said it wasn’t enough.
I became good for myself
And you nicknamed me a devil
No one can match your level.
You still paint my name black
For your love for me is fake
I still have bruises for my heart still ache
And I am not coming back
I don’t deserve to feel less.
You treat my life like a mess.
Get someone else than following me around,
What do you need from a devil like me,
Get yourself an angel with a better set of keys
To unlock your unlimited desire for your new definition of a real man.
You threw me in the shadows of men,
So why are you back in the shadows?
Embarrass me or blackmail me
But I will never hold you in my arms again
For you lost the heartbeat that survived for you in my chest.
Do yourself a favour and get the best,
I am no longer a candidate you lock in a nest.
” Babe why are you so cold?”
You still surprise me when you ask me that,
When you messed my life twenty fold.
With the pain I went through I have to be bold
For I got myself a good woman who shines like gold.

Be a mastermind of your life

Do you want to be a mastermind of your life?

Tired of things going the wrong way?

Because the truth of the matter is that it’s either your mind is working for you or working against you. Is that simple. Do you have the courage and bravery to win this battle, because it’s the battle in the mind?

Let’s dive in to know how?

Start believing in yourself first, you are what you are and you will always become bigger than you were. You grow because your mind grows. If your mind is growing in positivity more success is coming your way. If you mind is growing in negativity, calamity is coming your way. Everything is a result of the self-image you have about yourself. Change your self-image to change your life.

How?

You have to change your daily habits. Start doing new habits that are in line with what you want and keep reinforcing those habits. Your mind is a series of programs called habits. Habits of negativity should be chucked out by positive habits. For example if you want to be world champion in tennis the habit of playing tennis is what you need. To be a good at tennis you have to be practicing tennis. Habits are reinforced by what we repeat. It has always been said that we are what we repeat. Your mind needs some cleaning start now.  If you have been stuck living in fate, the only habits you were having your whole life are negative. If you were a person thinking negatively about life, negative events become your only habit.

What is it going to be, be the master of your mind or the mind mastering you.

Just Choose.

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First love

I yearn for that first love

That takes you to the blazing sun.

The love that makes you thrill

And climb mountains like a hill.

I yearn for that first love

That knows no heartbreak

The love that creates Joy

And a fairytale  fantasy to enjoy.

I yearn for that first love

Which is said to be fake

For we are left with broken hearts

On a rocky ground.

That love was lost and never found.

Powerless

An overdose of confidence

And a spice of boldness

My alpha male is rendered useless,

When I face my crush.

My face becomes pale

And I even forget I am a male

My thoughts are captured in a fairytale

I blame myself for being a total mess.

I try to regain confidence

Only to realize I need God in defense.

“Is there a missing angel in heaven?

Never knew she would make me powerless”

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